Never Walked Away From the Things I Wanted
by jannikajade
Summary: Casey never meant for Derek know how she felt. Derek never wanted to confront her about the obvious spark between them. They were both too stubborn to ever act until fate stepped in and Derek read something he was never supposed to see. Dasey. COMPLETE.
1. creative writing

**Author's Note:** This is just a little thing, probably only a few chapters. This first chapter is formatted a little weird, sorry about that. This is an idea that's been swimming around in my head for awhile now. Hope you guys enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: **You know, I'm beginning to think Life with Derek will NEVER be mine. This is very sad, because if I did own it… well, I'm sure you can imagine. :-P

* * *

**J.S. Thompson High School**

Memo

Subject: Student absence.

To: Senior Honors Track Faculty

Cc: Homerooms 12-6 and 12-9, Paul Creepy

From: Office of the Principal

Casey Macdonald will be out of school from Wednesday 4-26 to Friday 4-29 to have her wisdom teeth removed. Please gather all assignments, tests, forms etc, and send them to homeroom 12-9 so that her stepbrother Derek Venturi can take them home to her.

All work should be to homeroom 12-9 by the end of the day on Friday.

* * *

Derek Venturi cursed under his breath as he struggled with the load of books and papers he was carrying.

"Stupid Casey," He muttered. He hadn't carried this much schoolwork home since he'd stopped caring, somewhere around 5th grade. He unlocked his car and threw the large pile onto his passenger seat. Most of it seemed to be graded assignments, which amazed him. She'd only been gone for three days, by the looks of it, she did more homework in a week then he did in a whole semester. He flipped through it, rolling his eyes at her stack of perfect scores: Math, History, Economics, Creative Writing-he paused; Creative Writing had the potential to be interesting. It might make up for the fact that despite years of trying he never had found her diary.

He skimmed a couple poems first, boring. Next was a descriptive essay about her love of dance. Sappy, but still, nothing he could use against her. Then he found it, the last assignment in her creative writing stack, and by far the most personal. In fact, finding it made Derek think that Casey getting her wisdom teeth out may have been the best thing that had happened to them in a long, long time. She hadn't just written about herself, she hadn't just revealed some secret he could use to taunt to her- she had written, about him.

Derek put the car in drive and sped home as fast as he could. He had to talk to Casey.

* * *

Senior Creative Writing

Assignment # 29

Possible points: 20

An unsent letter

Due Date: Week of April 23rd

An unsent letter is something writers can use to express unresolved feelings, to tell people things they are too afraid to say in real life. This exercise is designed to get you thinking about your true feelings towards a person. These letters should not be addressed to the person by name, but rather in a "Dear you," or any phrase you can think of to describe this person. Please refer to your class notes and handouts for further clarification.

* * *

Casey Macdonald.

Creative Writing # 29

An unsent letter

April 21st

Dear you,

I hate that I'm writing you this letter. I hate that there are so many things between us that I'm afraid to say out loud. It's terrible really, the effect you have on me. I saw you the other day, with some ditz hanging off your arm, and I wanted to kill her. Seriously, I envisioned it in my head and it wasn't pretty, she met a rather gory end. It really, really bothered me, so the next time I saw you, I yelled at you for some random thing you'd done two weeks ago. You rose to the occasion of course, and we fought until we were both red in the face. We were standing so close we were almost on top of each other, and we were just glaring, finally out of insults.

Then there was that moment. That moment, when I was so afraid you'd look in my eyes and see the things I was really feeling; Desire, attraction, passion. That moment, when I convince myself there is a flash of those same emotions in your eyes. That moment when I am almost certain that if either of us moved even an inch, we'd end up kissing. Then it passes, one of us stalks away, and I am left thinking I imagined it all. As sick as it sounds, those moments are what I live for. Those moments make my bad days brighter; they leave me giddy. You leave me giddy. You make me days better. Who would have thought?

Ok, that last part was a lie. If I'm going to write a true confession, unsent letter, I should probably tell the truth. I left out an emotion. It scares me, but I'm pretty sure, there is also love. I am terrified by that possibility. Horrified by the thought that I love you. The more I think about it though, the more sure I am that it's true. You have successfully made me feel all sorts of new things, at first it was loathing, hatred, and self-disgust, because even then, I was attracted to you. The years have progressed, and I've come to accept finding you attractive. I've stopped hating myself for dreaming of you, for fantasizing moments of passion I know can never occur. These things I can blame on my hormones, and the link between passionate fighting, and passionate kissing. Too many movies, too many times hearing that 'fighting is a sign of sexual tension."

I cannot, however, forgive myself for loving you. Falling in love with you, has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done(although I'm sure you'd point out here that I've done lots of stupid things, and delight in listing them all). Its beyond impossible, its immoral, this obsession of mine. So I'll never tell you. Soon we'll be in university, and I won't see you everyday, I'm praying that the old, 'out of sight out of mind" cliché is true. I'm hoping I'll forget you.

I know we can never be. I know that even if circumstances were different, you wouldn't want me. Its classic unrequited love, with a horrible twist. I hate this- I hate it so much. So much, that I'm going to end this letter now, and go pick a fight with you. I'm craving one of those moments.

With Love,

Me.

_Nice work Casey. Sad but beautifully written. You clearly understood the assignment and you executed it well. A little wordy at times, but understandable given the subject matter. Excellent use of the 'Out of sight, Out of mind' cliché. Although when I read it, the cliché that jumped to my mind was, 'you never know until you try.' Just something to think about. +20._

* * *

End Chapter. 


	2. Carly Simon Defense

**Author's note:** The first chapter had 32 reviews. That amazes me. You guys are way too good to me. Really, I love you all. I'm sorry this took so long to come out, this week ended up busier than I thought it would. This chapter starts in Casey's PoV then switches to Derek's at the line.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

**Disclaimer:** I did a lot of things this week, but purchasing LwD was not one of them.

* * *

Casey flopped down on her bed, she'd just reorganized everything in her desk and alphabetized every CD she owned. Casey didn't sit still very often and she wasn't handling her post-wisdom-teeth removal orders to stay in bed and relax well. It had been three days, the pain had subsided and Casey was starting to go a little stir crazy. She was considering arranging all her books by genre when Derek opened her door and dropped something on the floor behind him with a thud. 

"Would it kill you to knock?" she asked, shooting him a glare.

"You know it just might, and can you imagine how guilty you would feel then? I'd knock on your door, in a valiant attempt to respect your wishes, and I'd drop over dead." He said, smirking and leaning against her door frame.

"Unfortunately for us both, I'm pretty sure there are no recorded cases of death from door knocking," She said, trying to conceal her smile.

"There's a first time for everything." He said.

"Did you want something Derek?" Casey asked, rolling her eyes.

"Yes actually, I'd like to get rid of this massive pile of your homework I'm carrying around," he said.

"You have my homework? Oh thank God!" She said clapping her hands.

"Did you just clap for homework?" He asked, looking appalled, "that might just be the saddest thing I've ever seen."

"I was going stir crazy! This will give me something to do." She said defensively.

"You're hopeless." He said, reaching behind him to pick up her homework up off the floor. He walked into her room and dropped the pile on her bed. "Seriously, this is more work than I've done all year."

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me," she said dryly.

"Ha-ha," he said sarcastically, "I'll let you and your precious homework have some alone time now," he said, smirking.

"Cute." She said. He turned to leave them room then stopped at her door.

"Hey Casey-"he began, then stopped.

"Yes?" she asked, glancing up at him.

"Never mind," he said, glancing away quickly. Casey rolled her eyes at his retreating form then pulled the large stack of papers onto her lap.

"Oh no," she whispered looking at the first paper, "No," she said again, trying to fight off her rising panic. A creative writing assignment, an unsent letter, was sitting on top of the stack. They had been instructed to write about someone or something they had unresolved or unstated feelings towards. So Casey had written down all the things she felt for Derek but knew she could never say. It seemed safe at the time to write down that she loved him, but now that the words were staring back at her in Times New Roman from a sheet of paper Derek had held in his hands minutes earlier, all her security vanished.

_Do not panic_. She instructed herself firmly. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe he hadn't read it at all; maybe it was just a coincidence that it was on top. Maybe he'd only read part of it, or he maybe had read it, but not seen the sheet explaining the assignment. Maybe he didn't realize it was about him. Maybe she could make up a really good lie.

Derek grinned to himself as he sat down at the dinner table that night. Casey kept looking at him as though she was trying to read his mind. He had considered just confronting her about the letter, but the more he thought about it, the more fun making her squirm for a little while seemed. So he'd made a copy on his Dad's fax machine then made sure the original was on the top of the stack of papers he gave her. He was hoping she'd come to him, but if not, he figured it would at least be amusing to see what she did do.

"So Casey, how are feeling?" Nora asked after everyone had food on their plates.

"Much better Mom, thank you," Casey said, smiling faintly

"I saw that Derek brought your work home, did you get any big tests back or anything?" Nora asked.

"No tests, but I did a get couple of assignments I struggled with back," Casey said, looking nervous. Derek smirked.

"Oh really, like what honey?" Nora asked.

"Well, like this thing for creative writing, we had to pretend we were these fictional characters and write these letters from their perspective, I had a hard time getting in to the character I was assigned," Casey said, fidgeting with her hands as she talked. It took all of Derek's self control not to burst out laughing, she really was the worst liar ever. She couldn't even come up with a halfway believable lie, it was almost sad.

"Really?" He asked catching her eyes, "That's funny, because a buddy of mine, Alan, takes creative writing and he was complaining all last week about some letter writing assignment and how personal he was supposed to make it," Derek said smoothly. Casey looked like she was going to be ill.

"You and your friends talk about homework?" Edwin asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow and making Lizzie laugh.

"Normally? No," Derek said, "But he was having a lot of trouble with how much emotion he was expected to convey."

"If he's not good at conveying emotion, creative writing probably wasn't the best class choice for him," George put in.

"Probably not," Derek agreed pleasantly. He noticed that Casey was pushing food around her plate with her fork and staring at the table.

"I wanna talk about my day now!" Marti demanded from her end of the table. Derek only half listened as Marti went on to describe her day in great detail. Clearly, Casey wasn't going to come to him, he'd have to be the one to start this conversation.

Derek let himself into Casey's room after dinner ended; it was time to confront her.

"That was weak Casey," he said, walking over and sitting on her bed. She turned around on her computer chair and regarded him warily.

"As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about." she said in bored voice, but he saw a flicker of apprehension in her eyes.

"We both know I saw that letter, and the explanation of the assignment," he said.

"And you assumed it was about you?" she asked, clearly trying to make it sound like this was a ridiculous idea.

"It was pretty obvious." he said.

"What makes you so sure?" she asked.

"Well for one, the fact that I can read," he said rolling his eyes, "that, plus your pathetic, 'it was fiction' lie downstairs, makes me one hundred percent positive," he said.

"God, you're so vain Derek, I can't believe you think I would write that about you," she said, attempting to sound angry.

"And I can't believe you think your sad little Carly Simon defense is going to fool me," he said.

"Carly Simon defense?" she questioned raising her eyebrows.

"I'm so vain, I probably think this letters about me?" he said singing his words to the tune of the classic song.

"Well if the song fits…" she said.

"Seriously, will you stop? Give it up Casey." Derek said.

"No." she said stubbornly, refusing to look at him.

"You can't just say no!" he said, half amused, half exasperated by her unwillingness to be honest with him.

"Sure I can," she said, "If I do, then we don't have to have the conversation you're trying to start."

"But that doesn't get us anywhere. I'm trying to talk to you here. I want to have this discussion." he said, not sure why she was behaving this way.

"I don't" she said, still not meeting his eyes.

"I think it's too late for that," he said, getting more annoyed by the second.

"Not really, talking takes two, and if I refuse, you're out of luck," She said.

"Why are you doing this? Will you at least look at me?" he asked.

"Look Derek," she said, finally looking up, "I know what you're gonna say ok? I'm in no mood for rejection and the awkwardness to follow. Can't we just pretend today never happened?" she asked.

"Rejection?" he questioned, thrown by her statement, "Casey I-"

"Just don't Derek," she said.

"But I was going to say, I mean-" he began, then stopped, when he realized he wasn't sure what he wanted to say, this conversation wasn't going at all the way he'd thought it would.

"Please, just go," she said getting up to open her door. He thought about staying and pushing the issue, but he knew he would end up saying the wrong thing. She'd thrown his train of thought off, and he needed sometime to think. She seemed to think he wanted to make fun of her for what she'd written, and that hadn't been his intent at all. He left her room and she slammed the door behind him.

Once in his own room, he sat on his bed to think. It hadn't occurred to him that she would be so opposed to talking to him about what she'd written. He grabbed the letter off his nightstand and reread it. She had written,

"_I know that even if circumstances were different, you wouldn't want me"_

He had skimmed over that line before, but now after talking to her it seemed really important. She had no idea how he felt about her. He got the impression that even had he just come out and told her, she wouldn't have believed him. The truth was, he loved her too, he'd loved her for years. He'd always been terrible at expressing his real feelings; it terrified him to be that vulnerable. When he'd read her letter, he'd planned out their conversation in his head. She was supposed to have admitted it, and looked embarrassed but hopeful. Then he'd planned to grin at her and say something like, "the feelings mutual." Then she'd smile and then they'd make out and live happily ever after. It had all been so simple in mind. Now he knew it would take more than three words on his part to settle it. He was going to have to find the perfect words, and present them in the prefect way.

* * *

End Chapter. 


	3. Line Crossing

**Author's note:** Sorry for the delay. I just couldn't figure this chapter out. Its not even a very long chapter, its just- eh, I don't know. I hope you like it. I've been super fuzzy and I just couldn't get my mental outline for this story straight, I kept getting interrupted by thoughts of like, micro-biology. Blah. Like I said, this fic as whole won't be very long. I'm thinking two chapters after this one.

This chapter was actually weirdly inspired by "Two-Timing Derek," and the bathroom scene. Which won't make sense to anyone except maybe Mal, so in case any where cares I'll explain the connection at the bottom. Feel free to skip it. Speaking of the new season, is it just me or does time move really, really slowly on LWD. Like, we're still to believe its only been a few months since George and Nora got married. Which is bizarre, because not only is it the third season, but the kids all look SO much older than they used, to I mean did you see Marti? Plus, come one, how long are we to supposed to buy Michael and Ashley as 15? Its almost like WB ridiculous at this point. They're no more 15 than I am. ( I also love that we're to believe that Kendra gag and Derek have been going out for 32 days.. Amazing as Derek's hair had time to grow several inches. ) Ok I'm going to stop ranting now before the rant is longer than the actual chapter. Enjoy kids.

**Disclaimer:** Come on now, if LWD was mine do you really think Kendra will still be around and saying, "der-bear" and making me cringe? No. Sadly, I still do not own LWD, and Michael with his sexy new hair has yet to show up on my front porch, and its raining. Ugh. Very sad.

* * *

The pone rang as the "Derek" play list on Casey's computer switched from Jann Arden to Rilo Kiley. She rolled over and ignored it. Normally she ran for the phone, but tonight she decided she would rather wallow in self pity and listen to her favorite angry girl music. Talking to Derek had been really, really weird. She had almost expected him to mock her, to taunt her and threaten to tell the whole school. She'd been petrified he'd be totally appalled and that he'd be so disgusted that he'd never speak to her again. She'd rather he mocked her. But he hadn't done either of those things and Casey couldn't figure it out.

Every time she replayed their conversation her head she came up with a different analysis.

"_But I was going to say, I mean-"_ He'd started. What would he have said if she hadn't cut him off? It was torturing her. And why had he been so insistent that she talk to him? They were both stubborn, but this had been different. It was like he'd been trying to be serious, which wasn't like Derek at all.

He defiantly hadn't been disgusted, in fact she thought that he'd almost seemed, _intrigued._ That was a dangerous train of thought though, because if he'd been intrigued, then maybe Casey wasn't just imagining all those looks and little moments, which made it all real, which, of course, was impossible. Casey shook her head at herself. She was pondering if it was possible that he'd just felt sorry for her, after all, that had happened before, when her door opened to reveal a triumphant looking Derek standing in the frame.

"I just get off the phone with Emily," he announced grinning and stepping into her room. Casey sat up and looked at him warily.

"What?" she asked.

"Well she wanted to talk to you, but I didn't think you were in the mood to talk so I told her you were out." he said, looking pleased with himself.

"Normally I'd be furious-" Casey began.

"Yeah, yeah I know," he said cutting her off, "You're welcome. Anyway, she just 'couldn't get off the phone with out telling someone what she just heard'," Derek said, using air quotes and a remarkably good impression of Emily for the last part.

"Umm, ok" Casey said, confused.

"Do you know Rachel Lorne?" Derek asked.

"No," Casey said, still feeling lost.

"Me either," Derek said with a shrug, "apparently she's a junior."

Normally Casey wouldn't' have been able to resist saying something like, _'a girl you don't know? Must not be a blonde,' _but she was in no mood to banter with him like everything was normal. So she just looked at him with her eyebrows raised, hoping he'd get to the point soon. He smirked,

"Well Emily was just beside herself because the word is, Rachel as fallen in love with her foreign exchange student." He said.

"So? People date the foreign exchange students all the time," Casey said.

"Not the ones that live with them," Derek said.

"Oh." Casey said, catching on, "I get it, _her_ foreign exchange student."

"Right," Derek said nodding, "so they're a couple now, and Emily said Rachel's parents were furious because you know they were supposed to be living like siblings-"

"Derek-" Casey started, cutting him off, suddenly terrified of where he was going to take this.

"But," he went on, ignoring her interruption, "Rachel told her parents that they're not really siblings at all, just two teenagers living in the same house, and really with hormones and all, what did they except?" he said, smirking and staring right at her.

"Derek-" she began again.

"Which you've got to admit," he said, ignoring her interruption once again, "is a pretty good argument, although Emily still thinks it's quite the scandal," he said.

"Derek," she said for the third time, "what are you doing?"

"Just sharing some school news I thought you'd find interesting," he said innocently, smiling

"what's your motive?" She asked, trying to will her face to stop flushing.

"Motive?" He asked, trying his best to sound offended, "I just thought you'd want to hear. That's all" he said, turning as though about to leave.

"Derek!" she called, and he turned back around to face her, "Not that it matters but that's crossing a totally different line than-" she stopped herself and glanced down at her bed.

"A different line than what?" he asked striding over to her, kneeling down and lifting her chin so he could lock his eyes with hers. She shivered. He reached his hand up and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, and she almost melted. For a second she seriously considered leaning forward just a little, just close enough that he'd get the idea and-

'_No!' _a voice in her head hissed warningly. Knowing Derek this was probably all a mind game of some sort. She had to be strong. He'd already read her letter, she was not going to make things worse by throwing herself at him.

"Never mind," she whispered, pulling back, "it's not important."

"Ok," he said, smiling sadly and standing up, "but just for the record Case? I think they're pretty similar lines." he said, turning to leave. He paused in the doorway, "by the way-nice music choice," he said, smirking and gesturing to her speakers which were currently blasting Alanis Morissette.

000008888877777700000000

Derek smiled to himself as he walked out of Casey's room. He heard her mutter something about foreign exchange students being temporary, and that made him smile wider. It could have gone better- there had been a moment where he'd thought they might kiss- but it also could have gone a lot worse. He could tell he'd gotten to her, and if he knew Casey, she was now sitting in her room now and reevaluating every single thing he'd said to her in the past two years. He was pretty sure he'd shaken her whole, 'could never happen' concept. It was defiantly the best thing that had ever come out of a conversation with Emily.

Now all he had to do was find a way to convince her he loved her.

* * *

End Chapter.

The connection to "Two-timing Derek," for any one that cares. After the episode was over, I commented to my roommates that I thought the sharing the bathroom scene was really cute. My one roommate put in, "I used to do that with Martin." Martin being the foreign exchange student she had in high school that she was totally in love with, and that she still sends flirty e-mails back and forth to till this day. Some people did find he crush on him to be 'gross' actually. So not only did her saying that prove my point about the cute shippyness of the bathroom sharing, it inspired this chapter. Ok.. I really am done now.


	4. If you only knew

**Author's Note: **I'm so sorry about the delay guys. Really finals are next week and I've been all stressed out, and having writers block and.. Ugh. I really couldn't figure this chapter out for the longest time. Thank you all so much for being patient with me.

This chapter is formatted weird too. Something about this fic seems to lend itself to that. I really hope you all can follow it. There is video, and the italics are what is on screen, and then Derek's voice is in the background at all times.

Please excuse my total lack of knowledge about video's and editing and such. I'm lucky I can use my digital camera. But I had never really played with the fact that Derek seemed to like directing and such, and I thought this was a good time to do it. Again if something is wrong, its because I made it all up. Oh, and for the sake of this fic, Derek also takes pictures.

Hope you all enjoy. Sorry again for the delay.

_Chapter dedicated to Cass and Mal who have both seemed stressed lately, and who I will e-mail as soon as I get up from the nap I'm about to go take. I promise. _

**Disclaimer:** Not mine… but I am plotting… :-P

* * *

"_The old picture on the shelf  
Well it's been there for a while  
A frozen image of ourselves  
We were acting like a child  
Innocent and in a trance  
A dance that lasted for a while_

_Why do you chose that pain?  
If you only knew how much I love you _

-Your Winter, Sister Hazel

* * *

Derek yawned as he clicked the 'play' button with his mouse to watch his movie for the 100th time. It was 4:00 am and Derek had been up all night. At first he'd just been thinking about Casey and how he was going to tell her- prove to her- that he loved her. He thought about writing, a letter for a letter, but everything he wrote he hated. A letter just wasn't his style. He'd been sitting at his computer, idly flicking through pictures and videos of her, hoping for inspiration, when the obvious answer occurred to him.

After hours of recording, editing and cutting, it was finally ready. There were a few parts that were less than perfect, times when he rambled, or when he wished the shot was better, but he was hoping she'd find that endearing. The final credits rolled, and he nodded, satisfied. He popped the DVD out of his computer and put it in a flat case with a note that read,

_Casey,_

_Once you watch this, we'll be even. _

_Derek_

Then he crept down the hall and slid it under her door. Exhausted he crawled into bed, saying a silent prayer that his plan would work.

---------------------------

"_If you only knew…."_

_Ten things I probably should have told you a long time ago_

_A video Confession from Derek to Casey._

_The title scrolled across the screen, and then the video cut to a shot of Derek, sitting at his computer chair._

"Hi Casey," He began somewhat sheepishly; "I've been up all night, thinking about that conversation we **didn't** have earlier. I gotta say I was stunned when you mentioned rejection. Rejecting you was the last thing I planned on doing, but you were so convinced I would and so embarrassed. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to say to you, or how to say it so that you'd believe me. I can't write it down and, believe me, I tried." He paused long enough to smirk at the camera before continuing, "So I thought I'd do something I am good at, and make you a little movie. It's a countdown of ten things I should have told you a long time ago- some of them things I should tell you every day. So this is me, being sincere."

_A number ten appeared on the screen. Then there was a shot of Derek's guitar, then Derek playing his guitar, looking pensive, then a long clip of a D-rock performance_.

"Ten. I tried to write a song about you once, about a year ago now I think. Really, I did- I sat for hours and scratched things out on notebook paper. It was all crap though; I couldn't write anything that didn't sound like every other 'we fight but I can't get enough of you' song out there. It was all trite and clichéd and just crap-maybe I should just stick to 'Na Na Na' lyrics and leave the real writing to you."

_A number nine appeared on the screen. A series of candid full body photos of Casey in various locations and moods followed._

"Nine. Ok so you remember that time last year when I stole all your jeans and hid them? Well, honestly, you hadn't worn a skirt in a really long time, and I was missing those legs of yours. I figured it was a really good way to force you to wear a skirt. It worked too. Really though Casey, you should consider wearing skirts at least once a week, trust me, it would make my days a lot better. Don't roll your eyes like that-I'm a guy I can't help it."

_A number eight appeared on the screen. Then there was a clip of Casey, staring out her window daydreaming and looking a little sad, clearly unaware she was being filmed._

"Eight. Speaking of your legs, you have a little scar on your left calf, right below your knee. I know this about you. I also know you have a freckle by your right ear, and that when you smell like vanilla you're wearing your hair straight and when you smell like lavender, you're wearing it curly. I know that when you're nervous you twist your hair around your finger. I know that you actually prefer rainy days to sunny ones. I could talk for hours about the things I've noticed and learned about you Casey Macdonald. You think I'm not paying attention, but I am. I know almost everything about you. I'm fascinated by it all."

_A number seven flashed across the scene. The camera cut to the school and shots of Paul the guidance counselor._

"Seven. Sometimes I go see Paul. Yes, your Paul. It started out with just me bugging him to tell me what you said about me, and ok, sometimes I still do that-but he always asks why I care so much. Then I end up admitting things I didn't even know I was thinking. He's a smart guy and I give him major credit for not killing us both by now."

_A number six flashed across the screen. More shots of Casey followed; these ones were closer up and more personal._

"Six. This one should be clear by now, but you're beautiful. I think you are stunning, gorgeous, amazing, sexy-just beautiful. I've always thought you were beautiful."

_A number five flashed across the screen. This time the clips had sound, it was Casey again, and in five short clips, she said, "Derek" in five different ways:_

"_Der-ek!" Furious_

"_Derek!" Annoyed._

"_Derek…" Pleading._

"_Derek?" Puzzled._

"_Derek." Grateful._

_Then the camera cut to a smirking Derek._

"Five. I like the way you say my name. I think this one is pretty self explanatory."

_A number four flashed across the screen. Then shots of Sam, Max, and every other guy Casey had tried to date in the past three years appeared._

"Four. I screw up your dates and relationships on purpose. Because I'm jealous. I don't want any other guys touching you. It makes me crazy. I know you're sitting over there now calling me a hypocrite, because I've dated like, half the school. I know that-but it doesn't change how I feel about you, or that I want to kill every guy you've ever dated. Even Sam. Especially Sam."

_A number three flashed across the screen. Then there was a long clip of the two of them, clearly fighting about something._

"Three. Our fights are always one of the high points in my days. I mean really, I don't exert myself, mentally, that often. I like to be apathetic and just rely on my charm to get me through the day. Lord knows I don't try in class. So fighting with you, is one of the few challenges in my life. And, it makes my life better. It makes me better."

_A number two flashed across the screen. The camera cut back to Derek sitting in his computer chair._

"Two. I'm scared of this, of us. I mean I know this isn't ideal. I felt all the sparks, I knew what was between us, and I did nothing. I'm Derek. What I want I get, and I've wanted you for a very ling time now, but I didn't act on it. This scares the shit out me Casey-but we can't run from it anymore. These are the most real feelings I've ever had in my life, and now that I know they're mutual, I can't just walk away from them."

_A number one flashed across the screen. Then it was back to Derek._

"And one. Obviously, I love you." Derek said.

"So that's the truth Casey. I love you. I've pretty much just laid my heart on the line here, so I'm hoping you believe me. This is probably the most honest thing I've ever done in my life. Are you crying? I probably made you cry. Sorry about that. They're good tears though right? Happy tears. Come find me. Now."

_Words flashed across the screen:_

"_If you only knew…. How much I love you."_

_A video confession by Derek Venturi._

_And then it went dark. _

--------------------------------

He was right. Casey was crying.

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End Chapter. I really, really hope it wasn't too hard to follow.

One more chapter to finish it out is coming. Soon.


	5. Things overheard

**Author's Note:** You guys are way too nice to me. Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews to the last chapter. I love you all. Dasey shippers are the best. Really, we rock.

So, I decided to show a little love to Lizzie and Edwin in this chapter, because I've been neglecting them lately, and I do love them. They're just adorable and really fun to write. I've also decided to ignore the new LWD age spread on the kids. Lizzie and Edwin are three and a half-ish, years younger than Derek and Casey. I like it that way.

There are some…open ended sorta things in this chapter. The Lizzie/Edwin interaction, a scene at the end with Derek and Casey. Feel free to interpret it however you want. I know what I had in mind.. But I decided it was best to leave some of it left to your imaginations. You'll see what I mean. (I hope)

Enjoy the chapter guys. Thanks for sticking with this fic despite my massive delay and writers block.

ooooh did you see? We get images in profiles!!

**Disclaimer: **Still. Not. Mine.

* * *

"Edwin! Hurry up!" Lizzie said, grinning and grabbing Edwin's hand to pull him up the stairs, "you have to see my surprise," she said. It was a Saturday morning; two weeks shy of Edwin's fifteenth birthday. She knew it was early, but Lizzie had been out with friends yesterday, and she had seen something Edwin just had to have. Now.

"Why do we have to run?" Edwin grumbled playfully, "and where is this surprise anyway?" he asked.

"The game closet," Lizzie said, rolling her eyes.

"Right stupid question." Edwin said. For Lizzie and Edwin, the game closet was the only room in the house that really mattered. They still held all their whispered conversations and planning sessions there, even though they'd both gotten bigger over the years, making it a tighter squeeze these days.

They were at the foot of the stairs when Lizzie reached out an arm to stop him, her eyes widening, "Look!" she hissed, pulling Edwin down to the ground so they where on their knees at perfect spying level. Casey was walking down the hall towards Derek's room. She'd clearly been crying, but she also looked happy and scared, and determined, and something else, something neither Lizzie nor Edwin could identify. She opened the door to Derek's room with out knocking. Edwin shot Lizzie a look of confusion and the two of them moved quietly into the hall right outside Derek's room, so they could hear every word. Casey pushed the door, but it didn't shut all the way, and Lizzie and Edwin could see right in through the crack.

"Hey," Casey said, making Derek jump. He'd been sitting on his bed, zoned out, "I found you," she said, smiling lightly.

"I see that," he said gesturing for her to sit down and throwing her a questioning look.

"It's nice to know I was right all along. You really are a sweet guy deep down Derek Venturi," she said sitting down across from him on the bed.

"News to me," Edwin muttered under his breath. Lizzie elbowed him the stomach and gave him a look that clearly said, 'shut up or I might have to kill you,' before turning her attention back to Derek and Casey.

"Yeah well," Derek said shrugging, "don't let it get out, you'll ruin my reputation."

"Don't worry, I can think of much better ways to ruin your reputation," she said grinning, and then she bit her lip and said, "So you were right, I cried."

"I knew you would," he said, smiling.

"Derek-" she started, and then stopped, "really, I mean, you meant it all? Really?" she said, fumbling over her words.

"Yes really," he said, reaching over to grab her hand, "I love you Casey," he said.

"I love you too," she said, looking like she might cry.

"I know." he said, grinning, "But God, its good to hear you say it."

Edwin tugged a gaping Lizzie away. He pulled her down the hall into the game closet. She glared at him.

"They were about to make-out or something, and that's not something we need to see," he said.

"Good point," she said nodding, "It's also easier to talk about them if we're in here."

"Yeah and, I want my surprise." he said, grinning. Lizzie rolled her eyes.

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They weren't making-out yet, but they had moved much closer to each other on Derek's bed.

"It feels good to say it out loud," Casey admitted, "I've been keeping it in for so long." she said.

"How long?" he asked, grinning.

"Derek-that's not really, I mean," she stuttered, looking embarrassed. He smirked.

"Ok, I'll go first. I have known I loved you since you showed up on my date with Emily," he said, grinning at the memory, "You were in full spy mode, in your wig and sun glasses and trench coat. Classic." he said. "I mean, I wanted you long before that. I've always wanted you, but that was when I knew I was in deep. Your turn." he finished.

"I-" she started then stopped and took a deep breath, "I fought it for such a long time, but when we had that awful dinner with my father, and afterwards, I was in the kitchen on the verge of a breakdown. Then you came in and really cared how I was, and then called him back for me?" she broke off, still amazed by how thoughtful he had been, years later, "I knew it was real. I knew I loved you."

"I win then," he said, "I knew first."

"I'm not sure that's winning. Doesn't that just mean you hid your feelings for longer?" she said, but she was grinning.

"This from the woman who refused to have a conversation with me and who tried to tell me the letter clearly about me, wasn't about me," he said playfully.

"Well if I had been corporative, you wouldn't have made me the sweetest thing ever. Its better this way." She said.

"Oh yes, cause I just love staying up till 3 am staring at my computer." he said teasingly.

"3 am? Really? Wow…" she said looking impressed.

"Yeah well, you're worth it." he said shrugging.

"Derek-" she began, but he cut her off.

"Casey, you're killing me. I've wanted to kiss you for three years now, and if I don't get to kiss you in the next thirty seconds or so, I'm going to explode." he said.

"Well if you insist," she said, leaning closer. He grinned and closed the small gap between them, bringing his lips to her.

"Like you imagined it?" she asked when they broke apart, a smile on her lips.

"Better," he said playing with a strand of her hair.

"Much better," she agreed, leaning in to kiss him again. This time, they didn't break apart for a long, long time.

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"I knew it! I always knew it, I just never thought they'd admit it," Lizzie said talking fast, "I mean to hear them say they loved each other, is just wow," she finished, looking at Edwin.

"You're rambling Liz," he said, "and I still want my surprise. You practically pulled my arm off up getting me up the stairs, and now here we are in the game closet and I don't see a surprise," he said.

"Edwin," she said rolling her eyes, "We just saw Derek and Casey confess their love, can't you humor me and focus on that for just a second?"

"I'm tired of focusing on them. They focus enough on themselves for everyone." he said.

"You're being impossible. I'm not sure you even deserve your surprise now." she said pouting playfully and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine," he said rolling his eyes, "Oh my god, I can't believe Derek and Casey finally admitted their feelings. I thought they'd be in denial forever. Wow." he deadpanned, "Happy now?" he asked. She laughed.

"So impatient," she said, then she lifted a box off the shelf and pulled out the envelope that had been hiding beneath it, "Here," she said the excited grin returning to her face.

"What?" he asked puzzled, opening the envelope and pulling out the tickets inside it, "Oh no way!" he exclaimed. She giggled. His favorite band was playing in Toronto tonight. Lizzie had seen the tickets on sale last night and known Edwin had to have them.

"I know it's not your birthday yet, but the concert is tonight, so I had to," she said, grinning.

"This is the best! Thank you so much," he said, pulling her in to a giant hug.

"I already cleared it with the parents, and there are two tickets so you can take a date or whatever," she said, smiling, still wrapped in his hug.

"I'll have to do that," he said grinning. He let her go then said, "so I'll pick you up outside your room at six?"

"I'll be ready," she said, beaming, "Happy birthday Edwin."

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It was about half an hour later when Edwin decided he needed a snack and headed towards the stairs. He paused outside Derek's room, smirking.

"Seriously you guys," he called, "you're gonna want to at least close the door all the way!" He laughed to hear Derek's groan and Casey's embarrassed sounding squeal.

"Think you could get that for me Ed?" Derek called back, "I've kinda got my hands full here."

"Der-ek!" Casey yelled, sounding beyond mortified. Edwin laughed and moved to shut the crack in the door. Marti might come down the hall, and he wouldn't want her to be scarred for life.

"I'm on it," he said.

"Thanks bro," Derek said.

"Don't you have any shame?" Edwin heard Casey ask as he shut the door.

"Nope," Derek replied, "good thing I have you to keep me in line."

"I'm pretty sure keeping you in line, is impossible," she said.

"True, but its adorable to watch you try," he said.

"I thought I was always adorable," she countered.

"You are," he said.

"Ick" Edwin muttered under his breath as he walked away. That was the thing about the Macdonald-Venturi house; you never knew what you'd overhear.

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The End.

Hope you enjoyed.


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